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Monday, October 30, 2017

Comfort Objects From Infancy Through Adulthood

In prior articles, I've discussed Donald Winnicott's contributions to the field of psychology (see my articles: The Creation of the Holding Environment in PsychotherapyBooks: Tea With Winnicott at 87 Chester SquareUnderstanding the False Self and On Being Alone).  As a pediatrician and psychoanalyst, Winnicott also contributed the idea of the child's need for comfort objects (also called transitional objects).  But comfort objects are not only for babies--they play an important role throughout our lives.

When Donald Winnicott discussed transitional objects in the mid-20th century, there was little understanding of these concepts among pediatricians and mental health professionals.  The field of child psychology was still relatively new and many people saw children as little adults rather than children who had their own emotional and developmental needs.

According to Winnicott, the baby is comforted by an object, usually a blanket or a soft toy (like a teddy bear)) that is soothing to the baby to hold.

The transitional object helps to soothe the baby when the mother is not holding the baby.

These transitional objects also help the baby, as the baby is developing, to create a transitional space between the times when the baby is with the mother and other times when she is not.

As I mentioned before, transitional objects are usually associated with children, but we all benefit from having transitional objects throughout the life cycle.

Let's explore these concepts further in a fictionalized vignette:

Alan
As a baby, Alan liked to hold onto his favorite blanket as he was falling asleep.  Sometimes, his mother would watch him fall asleep while he was gently chewing on the blanket or a soft toy.

Comfort Objects From Infancy Through Adulthood

Whenever Alan's mother tried to take the blanket from him to wash it, Alan would cry so hard that she would give it back to him.

When she asked Alan's pediatrician about this, he told her that this is a common reaction that babies have at this stage.  He explained that the baby likes to hold, smell, and chew on the blanket (or whatever comfort object the baby prefers) and likes it just the way it is--smells and all.  So, he told her not to worry about it.

When Alan was about three years old, he had a teddy bear that was his comfort object.  He dragged that teddy bear all over the house with him.

When he was in his room, Alan would listen to his mother in the kitchen washing the dishes and talking to her friend.  At this stage of his development, it was enough for Alan to hear his mother and know that she was only a short distance away even though he couldn't see her.  He had his teddy bear to comfort him.

Alan did well when he started school.  He got along well with the other children and he really liked his teacher, Ms. Jones.

Towards the end of the school year, Ms. Jones began talking to the children about all the wonderful things they would learn next year.  She also told them that they would have a different teacher.

Until then, Alan hadn't thought about not being in the classroom with Ms. Jones and the idea of not being with her frightened him.

When he got home, he told his parents that he didn't want to go to the next grade because he wanted to remain with Ms. Jones.  His parents understood that this was a common reaction that children have, especially if they really like their first teacher, so they tried to comfort him by telling him that Ms. Jones would still be around and he would see her in school.

Ms. Jones also knew that Alan and many of the children in her class were unhappy about not having her as a teacher the following year, so they continued to talk about this in school.  She assured them that she would be around and told them where they could find her during the day.

On the last day of class, Ms. Jones took pictures with each student and allowed them to keep them.

Alan carried around his picture with Ms. Jones throughout the summer.  He also kept it in his shirt pocket on the first day of class.  Even though he missed Ms. Jones, he felt comforted by looking at the picture.

As Alan matured into a young adult, he made friends and he became more independent from his parents.  Although he continued to be close to his parents, he spent more time with his friends.

Like most people, Alan had other transitional objects throughout his lifetime.  After he graduated college, he wore his college ring.  And after his grandfather died, Alan wore his grandfather's watch.

Comfort Objects From Infancy Through Adulthood

Eventually, Alan got married.  His wife took a temporary assignment out of state for a few months.  Whenever he felt himself missing his wife, he would look at a picture of her that he kept on his nightstand and that helped him to feel a little better.

Conclusion
People use comfort objects, also known as transitional objects, throughout their lifetime.

Comfort objects help to soothe people during times of transition or stressful times.

A comfort object is a very personal thing and each individual will choose the objects that are most soothing to them.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or send me an email.