NYC Psychotherapist Blog

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Monday, December 10, 2012

Overcoming Fantasies of Being Rescued

Who hasn't gone through a life crisis, at one time or another, and fantasized that someone would come along and rescue them from all their problems?  This person would know just what to say and do to make things right again.  Indulging in this kind of fantasy, knowing that it's really a fantasy and that, as adults, we're ultimately responsible for ourselves, isn't unusual. It's a little like wishing that we'd win the lottery.  We might have the wish, but then we come back down to earth and deal with the reality of our situation.

Overcoming Fantasies of Being Rescued

It's one thing to have an occasional fantasy about being rescued and it's another thing to live your life waiting for someone to come along, the proverbial "knight in shining armor," to sweep you off your feet and take you to his castle.

Often, not surprisingly, people who have rescue fantasies weren't nurtured as children, and the inner child in them is still hoping that someone will come along to fulfill that unmet need.  This isn't always apparent to the person with this fantasy or the people who are close to him or her (there are men who also have rescue fantasies).

Overcoming Fantasies of Being Rescued 

Making matters worse, there are people who have fantasies about rescuing people who find people who want to be rescued and form an unhealthy, codependent relationship.  If they remain in the rescuer-rescuee dynamic, they don't grow as individuals or as a couple.  They remain stunted in their rigid roles.  This is very different from two mature adults who come to a relationship as whole individuals and who rely on each other in a healthy way for emotional support.

Inner child work with a skilled, licensed mental health professional can help you to overcome the fantasy of being rescued.  Rather than making a maladaptive effort to heal by pinning all your hopes on someone else, it's much more empowering to develop your own internal resources to heal your inner child.

Clinical hypnosis and Somatic Experiencing are safe and effective forms of therapy to heal the inner child. A skilled clinician can guide you through the inner child work process so that you mourn what you didn't get and, more importantly, your adult self learns to take care of your inner child, and the different parts of yourself are more integrated.

As an integrated individual, you will attract healthier people and you'll be much more likely to have a happier and healthier relationship than if you remained stuck in the fantasy that someone will come along to rescue you.  But even if you're not in a relationship, you'll still feel like an emotionally healthy, whole person.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist. 

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.