But if you have a friend who is generally difficult and who causes you a lot of stress most of the time, you might want to re-evaluate your friendship in light of the emotional or physical toll it might be having on you.
|Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships|
When Sally got Nina's email, she cringed. She considered what she wanted to do and she decided that she would meet Nina for a drink and see whether Nina had changed in the intervening years.
Think about particular instances when you felt uncomfortable, hurt or annoyed and weigh this against what your overall feeling about the friendship.
Consider Whether This is Someone You Would Choose as a Friend Now
People change. You might have changed.
There are times when you might have a long term friendship that no longer feels right for you, and you're aware that if you had met this person now, you wouldn't be inclined to form a friendship with him or her.
|Letting Go of an Unhealthy Friendship: Consider Whether You Can Work Things Out and If This is Someone You Would Choose as a Friend Now|
- Why are you continuing to be friends?
- Are you avoiding ending the friendship because it would be uncomfortable?
- Do you feel it would be mean of you to end the friendship?
- Are you stuck because you don't know how to end the friendship?
Think About Whether You Can Have a Different Kind of Friendship With This Person?
There are different kinds of friendships. There are close friends that you trust and you confide in, and there are some friendships that are not as close, but you might have a common interest that brings you together.
If you have a friendship that was once close, but it's a matter of not wanting to be as close to this person (and there are no major issues between you), consider whether you want to keep this person in your life as a casual friend rather than letting go of the friendship altogether.
Letting Go of Toxic Friendships
There are times when it's clear that a friendship is just too toxic for you and it would be unhealthy for you to keep this person in your life.
This can be difficult and sad. Sometimes, it's more difficult than going through a breakup in a romantic relationship.
There can be so many different toxic friendships and unhealthy situations, so it's hard to generalize in one blog article.
Depending upon the situation, try to be as tactful as possible in explaining that you wish this person well, but the friendship isn't working for you.
Try not to get into an argument, which won't be beneficial you or the other person.
It might not feel comfortable at the time to assert yourself and take care of yourself in this way, but remaining in a toxic friendship that is detrimental to your overall emotional well-being just to avoid the discomfort of ending the friendship isn't the answer.
Once you've let go of an unhealthy friendship, you might be sad, but you'll probably realize, in the long run, how much less stressful your life is and that you have more emotional and physical energy for other healthier relationships.
Also see my articles:
Coping With a Close Friend's Betrayal
Do You Feel Overwhelmed by a Friend's Problems?
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist who works with individual adults and couples.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (212) 726-1006 or email me: firstname.lastname@example.org.