Relationships: What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?

As a psychotherapist who sees individual adults and couples, one of the problems I often hear about from people in relationships is that they would like to feel closer to their partner.

What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?

            See my articles:    

• Learning to Ask Your Partner For What You Need Emotionally

• Are Your Emotional Needs Being Met in Your Relationship?

What Do You Need to Feel Close to Your Partner?

Every individual is different but, generally, most people in a relationship need to experience:

• Acceptance: This means feeling accepted as you are right now--flaws and all.

• Trust: You and your partner know that you can trust each other, put your relationship first and be honest and genuine with each other (see my article: Relationships: Oxytocin, Trust and Empathy).

• Reliability: Knowing you can count on your partner to be there for you when you need them is essential.

What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?

• Emotional Connection: Feeling emotionally connected to your partner and knowing your partner feels emotionally connected to you is important. You and your partner might have short periods of times when you don't feel as emotionally connected because of whatever you're going through as a couple, but feeling emotionally connected most of the time is important in any relationship (see my article: How to Build Trust and Connection in Your Relationship).

• Understanding: You and your partner need to feel that you understand each other and, even when there are times when you might not understand each other, you both make an attempt to communicate and actively listen so you both work towards feeling understood.

• Appreciation: Feeling appreciated and valued is essential to any relationship. This includes giving and getting positive reinforcement (see my article: The Importance of Expressing Gratitude to Your Partner).

• Vulnerability: Vulnerability is the pathway in any relationship to emotional and sexual connection. This means being able to listen to your partner's hopes, fears and dreams and your partner also being able to do the same for you. 

         See my articles: 

• Vulnerability as a Pathway to Emotional and Sexual Intimacy

• How to Express Your Vulnerable Emotions to Your Partner

• Shared Goals: Having individual goals and relationship goals that you can both support is important.

         See my articles: 

• 7 Tips For Creating a Stronger Relationship With Relationship Goals

• 10 Relationship Goals to Create a Stronger Relationship

• Growing as an Individual When You're in a Relationship

Conclusion

Being able to ask for what you need emotionally from your partner can be challenging, especially if you grew up in a family where you were discouraged, forbidden or even shamed for having emotional needs (see my article: What is Childhood Emotional Neglect?).

What Do You Need to Feel Closer to Your Partner?

If you and your partner are having problems expressing your emotional needs to each other, you could benefit from seeking help in couples therapy.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If you and your partner have been unable to resolve problems on your own, you could benefit from seeking help in couples therapy.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

A skilled couples therapist can help you to understand the underlying issues involved for each of you and help you to develop the necessary tools and strategies to overcome your problems.

Seeking help sooner rather than later can make the difference in being able to resolve your problems.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email.