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Sunday, July 5, 2009

Relationships: Are You in a Relationship Rut?

Over time, you and your spouse can get int a relationship rut so easily: You both have very busy jobs. Maybe you're working a lot of extra hours. 

Then, you get home and you spend time with your children. Or maybe you're taking care of an elderly parent. You have so many responsibilities that, after a while, you and your partner have less and less time for yourselves. Soon, your communication becomes limited to work and household responsibilities. You're both exhausted and sex has gone out the window. 

Then, one day you wake up and look across from you and wonder: Who is this person?

Sound familiar? It's happening more and more as the demands of everyday life are increasing on almost everyone. Add to this that we're now all more accessible to everyone, including our bosses, via our cell phones and computers, and expected to respond immediately and you can see how our relationships begin to take a back seat to just about everything else.

Are You in a Relationship Rut?

If you and your partner have gotten into a rut and want to revitalize your relationship, start by making the time to sit down and have a talk about it. Talk about the kinds of things that you both used to enjoy together before your lives got so busy.

If it's not possible to do these things any more because of practical considerations, consider creating special times when the two of you can regain a sense of intimacy in your relationship again. It doesn't have to be complicated or expensive.

For instance, maybe you'll set aside time each week for a date night or a special Sunday brunch at home only for the two of you.

Maybe you'll bring a new sense of sensuality to your relationship by giving each other massages. Whatever you do, start taking steps to renew your relationship in ways that are meaningful to both of you.

Getting Help in Therapy
If you've tried to revitalize your relationship and nothing seems to work, you could benefit from attending couples counseling.  A skilled couples therapist can help you to enliven your relationship again so that you can get out of your rut.

About Me
I am a NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.   I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

Feel free to call me at (212) 726-1006 to set up a consultation.




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