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| A Growth Mindset Can Improve Your Relationship |
In the current article I'm focusing on how a growth mindset can improve your relationship.
What's the Difference Between a Fixed Mindset and a Growth Mindset in Relationships?
People who have a fixed mindset in their relationship believe that change isn't possible.
They believe neither they nor their partner can develop new skills or abilities to improve their relationship.
Since they're prone to a fixed and pessimistic attitude, they often avoid risking change even if it's for the sake of improving their relationship.
They're also prone to giving up more easily when confronted with the need for change. As a result, these relationships often stagnate.
In addition, people with a fixed mindset often do well during the early honeymoon phase of a relationship when things are going well, but when the going gets tough, they're more likely to give up or cheat (see my article: The Allure of the Extramarital Affair).
This is especially true for people who believe in the idea of "soulmates" where they think relationships are either "meant to be" or not (see my article: Why You'll Be Disappointed If You Look For a "Soulmate").
So, when things aren't going well in their relationship, they think the relationship wasn't "meant to be" and, instead of trying to resolve problems within the relationship, they look for emotional and sexual gratification outside the relationship.
People who have a growth mindset see problems as opportunities to develop and grow. Since they believe in the possibility for growth, they're more likely to take emotional risks by being emotionally vulnerable to make positive changes. They're also more likely to persevere to overcome problems.
How Can a Growth Mindset Improve Your Relationship?
If you have a growth mindset, you're more likely to see your partner's and your own shortcomings as challenges to overcome.
As a result, you can approach shortcomings in a more empathetic way because you believe you and your partner can improve.
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| A Growth Mindset Can Improve Your Relationship |
If you have a willingness to develop and grow, you can deepen your understanding and trust in your partner due to your belief that things can change for the better in your relationship.
A positive mindset can also help you to be more proactive in overcoming challenges. This allows you to approach problems in a more collaborative way with your partner because you see yourselves as a team.
With a growth mindset you can also experience more compassion for yourself and your partner during challenging times.
In addition, you can experience gratitude and appreciation for your partner, which can help you to get through difficult times together.
How Can a Sexual Growth Mindset Improve Your Sex Between You and Your Partner?
The #1 reason why people seek help in sex therapy is a sexual desire discrepancy in their relationship.
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| The #1 Sexual Problem in Relationships: Desire Discrepancy |
It's not unusual for people in long term relationships to develop stagnant sex scripts where they no longer enjoy sex (see my article: How to Change Your Sex Script).
Familiarity often helps people to feel comfortable with each other on an emotional level, but it can also create stagnation in the bedroom.
When stagnation sets in and the couple engages in the same sexual activities without any deviation, sex becomes routine and boring.
In addition, if one person wants more sex than the other or wants to engage in different sexual activities than their partner, as in the case with sexual desire discrepancy, the person who wants more sex often stops initiating because they fear getting rejected by their partner (see my article: Coping With Sexual Rejection From Your Partner).
Some partners are especially sensitive to sexual rejection and rejection becomes that much more painful if the couple is having less sex with few opportunities to repair this problem.
When both people have a sexual growth mindset, they're open to being more sexually adventurous by expanding their sexual repertoire.
They're also less sensitive to sexual rejection because they know there will be other opportunities for sexual pleasure and novelty.
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| A Sexual Growth Mindset Can Improve Your Sex Life |
Even when sexual problems arise, a couple who has a sexual growth mindset believe they can develop the necessary skills and abilities to overcome their problems.
They're more likely to persevere in overcoming their relational and sexual problems--whether they do this on their own or with the help of a sex therapist.
Getting Help in Therapy
If you and your partner have been unable to resolve problems on your own, you could benefit from seeking help from a licensed mental health professional who is a couples therapist.
If you're having sexual problems, a sex therapist can help you to improve your sex life.
Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy (see my article: What is Sex Therapy?).
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| Getting Help in Therapy |
There is no nudity, physical exams or sexual activity during sex therapy sessions (see my article: What Are Common Misconceptions About Sex Therapy?).
Individual adults and couples seek help in sex therapy for a variety of reasons (see my article: What Are Common Issues Discussed in Sex Therapy?).
Rather than struggling with relational or sexual problems on your own, seek help from a skilled therapist with an expertise in your problem so you and your partner can have a more fulfilling life together.
About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.
I am a sex-positive therapist who works with individual adults and couples.
To find out more about me, see my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.
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