NYC Psychotherapist Blog

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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Are Your "Cold Feet" Just Common Pre-Wedding Jitters or a Cause For Concern?

It's not unusual for people who are about to get married to feel a little anxious about taking such a life-changing step in their lives.  We often refer to this as "having cold feet" or "pre-wedding jitters," and most people recognize this as a common experience.  But how do you know if what you're experiencing is just "pre-wedding jitters" or if what you're sensing are "red flags" about the marriage?

Are Your "Cold Feet" Just Common Pre-Wedding Jitters of a Cause For Concern

Many couples find it helpful to go to pre-marital counseling to talk about their hopes and expectations about their upcoming marriage.

Pre-marital counseling provides an opportunity to discuss important issues like, for example, your views about: 
  • what it means to be married
  • how you feel about sex
  • whether you want to have children or not
  • if your religious or spiritual beliefs are in synch with each other
  • how you want to conduct your financial affairs

Pre-marital counseling is also usually the place where people raise any concerns they might have about the other person or about how well suited they are as a couple to get married.  

Are You Experiencing Common Pre-Wedding Jitters or Sensing Red Flags?
Attending pre-marital counseling can help you to determine if what you're experiencing is just common pre-wedding jitters (so-called "cold feet") or if your anxiety is a signal that something might be wrong in your relationship that could cause problems in a marriage.

Don't ignore or override your concerns.  It's better to express your concerns before you get married than to go through with the wedding and have regrets later.

If you're just experiencing the kind of "cold feet" that people often feel before getting married, you can set your mind at ease before the wedding.

But if there are real concerns, you also have an opportunity to try to work these issues out, if they can be worked out, before you get married.

If you're trying to determine if your anxiety is normal pre-wedding jitters or if you're sensing "red flags" about getting married, it's best to seek a counselor who is a licensed mental health professional who can be objective and who has experience working with couples.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:  Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up  consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

photo credit: sergcot via photopin cc