NYC Psychotherapist Blog

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Monday, August 20, 2018

What Happens During Stage Two of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT)?

I have been discussing Emotionally Focused couple therapy (EFT) in prior articles (see my articles: What is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT)?What Happens During Stage One of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT)? and Stage One of EFT Couple Therapy: A Clinical Example).  In this article, I'm focusing on what happens during Stage Two of EFT couple therapy.

What Happens During Stage Two of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT)?

As I mentioned in my earlier articles, EFT is a research-based couple therapy developed by Dr. Sue Johnson that helps couples to connect with each other in healthy ways and improves their emotional attachment.

I described what happens during Stage One of EFT in an earlier article.

After a couple completes the necessary steps of Stage One, their EFT couple therapist will guide them through Stage  Two, which is about changing the patterns of their interaction that cause problems in their relationship (see my article: Overcoming the Negative Dynamic in Your Relationship That Keeps You Stuck).

During Stage Two, the EFT couple therapist helps each person in the relationship to feel safe enough to express his or her attachment needs and deep emotions (see my article: EFT Couple Counseling: New Bonding Can Replace a Negative Cycle in a Relationship).

Since this can be difficult, especially for a couple who have longstanding problems and who might not feel comfortable allowing themselves to be so emotionally vulnerable, the EFT couple therapist acts as a coach to help each person to express their emotional needs to each other and to also express acceptance and compassion for the partner's needs.

During Stage Two of EFT, the couple also learn to discuss issues that have created conflict in their relationship in a new and healthy way.

This stage often involves one step forward and one step back as each individual in the couple learns to express his or her emotional vulnerability, compassion, and learns to adjust to new ways to approach issues that caused conflict in the past.

In my next article, I'll provide a clinical example of Stage Two using the same fictional couple that I discussed in my earlier article about Stage One of EFT couple therapy.

See my article: Stage Two of EFT Couple Therapy: A Clinical Example

Getting Help in Couple Therapy
Many couples remain stuck in old, dysfunctional ways of relating and, eventually, these patterns erode their relationship until the relationship is beyond salvaging.

By seeking help in couple therapy, the couple have an opportunity to stop enacting destructive patterns in their relationship, learn to express their emotional needs and express compassion for their partner's needs.  They also learn new ways of dealing with conflict.

Rather than continuing to engage in old patterns that are ruining your relationship, you can get help from an experienced couple therapist and salvage your relationship.

About Me
I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing, and EFT couple therapist.

I work with individuals and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.