NYC Psychotherapist Blog

power by WikipediaMindmap

Monday, August 13, 2012

Overcoming Self Doubt That Keeps You Stuck

Self doubt can keep you stuck in your life for years.  You might have many hopes and dreams for yourself for what you want in your life but, if you let it, self doubt can keep you from ever making them come true.

Overcoming Self Doubt That Keeps You Stuck

There can be many reasons for self doubt, including, possibly, depressive or anxiety-related symptoms.  But often, people just can't figure out why they're so plagued with self doubt that they can't even take the first step.

Whatever the reasons, you might find that year after year goes by, you're still stuck and you're unable to overcome your self doubts.  What you desire for yourself remains only fantasies in your mind.  It can be even more frustrating to see other people that you know making progress with their goals, while you remain stuck.

Often, the hardest part is taking the first step.  If you can overcome your self doubt enough to take the first step, you could gain some confidence to take another step and then another, especially if you can keep yourself from worrying too much about the final outcome.

But the problem for many people is that, instead of focusing on the beginning, which is where they are, they try to project themselves to the end and get stuck there, before they've taken any steps.  Then, they begin worrying about how they'll ever be able to get to the end.

At that point, it becomes overwhelming and they give up before they've  even started.

Negative self thoughts or inner voice of negative prediction can keep you frozen in your tracks before you take the first step.  "Old tapes," possibly from a critical parent, might play over and over again in your mind, taunting you and predicting that you'll fail.  So, then you think:  Why bother?

These negative self thoughts, which often come in the middle of the night to keep you up, can feel so powerful--until you begin to challenge them in the light of day:  Is there any objective truth it?  Where's the proof?

Your negative self thoughts can be very persistent providing all kinds of pseudo "objective proof" where none really exists.  It's like the "Bogey man" or "ghost" you thought you saw in your room when you were a child.  When you turn the light on, there's nothing there.

These self doubts and the negative self thoughts that fuel them are often like that.  When you "turn on the light" of objective reasoning, there's nothing there of any substance.

One of the saddest things is for a person to look back at the end of her life and say, "I wish I would've..." (you fill in the blank).   Very often, she can see, with the advantage of hindsight and life experience, where she could have accomplished her dreams if she would have persisted and overcome her self doubts.  But, at that point, it's too late.

Getting Help in Therapy
If your own self doubts are keeping you from being or having what you want and you're unable to overcome these obstacles on your own, you owe it to yourself to seek the help of a licensed mental health professional.  Letting year after year go by, with your fears getting the best of you, is just wasting precious time you'll never get back.  

Overcoming Self Doubt That Keeps You Stuck:  Getting Help

A licensed mental health professional can help you to overcome the emotional obstacles so that you can lead a more satisfying life.

About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  I work with individual adults and couples.  I've helped many people to overcome emotional obstacles so they can lead more fulfilling lives.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.