How Does Trauma Therapy Work?

Trauma therapy is a form of experiential talk therapy that works due to the mind-body connection. 

The experiential aspect of trauma therapy is related to the mind-body connection where you're not just talking about what you think in an intellectual way--you're also experiencing your thoughts and feelings in an embodied way.

    See my articles: 

The Mind-Body Connection: The Body Provides a Window Into the Unconscious Mind

Why Experiential Therapy is More Effective Than Regular Talk Therapy to Overcome Trauma)

How Trauma Therapy Works

What Type of Issues Are Processed in Trauma Therapy?

Trauma therapy helps clients to process unresolved trauma including (but not limited to):

• Childhood Emotional Neglect and Other Types of Childhood Trauma

• A History of Sexual Abuse
  

• A History of Physical Abuse

• A History of Emotional or Psychological Abuse

• A History of Traumatic Relationships 

• Traumatic Grief
  

• Shock Trauma: One-time events that were traumatic like natural disasters, getting robbed and so on

• Combat Trauma

• Other Traumatic Experiences including a history of experiencing bullying, emotional and verbal abuse to name just a few issues that clients work on in trauma therapy.

How Does Trauma Therapy Work?

When a person experiences trauma, it triggers heightened activation in the part of the brain called the amydala.

    

    See my article: How Trauma Therapy Can Help You to Overcome Unresolved Trauma

The amydala processes emotions and memory processing (see my article: Trauma and the Triune Brain).

Trauma and the Brain

The amydala can be slow to process trauma. This often leads to activation with regard to everyday stimuli including loud noises, scents, certain visual cues and other triggers which are specific for each person.

This activation can occur even when people haven't developed PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) symptoms.

Trauma therapy helps clients to reprocess unresolved trauma in a way that is safe and effective without being retraumatizing.

Trauma therapists have advanced training and skills in one or more types of trauma therapy. 

Due to their training and skills, trauma therapists know how to help clients to process trauma without retraumatizing them.

Not all therapists have trauma therapy training so it's important to ask any therapist you contact about their training, skills and background.

Over time, as you process trauma, you can prioritize taking care of yourself and leading a full life again.

What Are the Different Types of Trauma Therapy?

There are a variety of therapies that come under the umbrella of trauma therapy including (but not limited to):

• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

EMDR Therapy

• AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Therapy)

• Somatic Experiencing (SE)

Somatic Experiencing (SE)

• Parts Work (including Ego States Therapy and Internal Family Systems which is also known as IFS)

Parts Work (Ego States Therapy and IFS)

What is the Negative Impact of Unresolved Trauma?

Unresolved trauma can have a negative impact on every area of your life including:

• Relationships and family life

• Work

• School

• Friendships and social life

What Are the Benefits of Trauma Therapy?

Some of the benefits of trauma therapy include:

• Eliminating or reducing triggers and other trauma-related symptoms

• Learning coping skills and developing internal resources
  

• Overcoming distorted negative beliefs

• Reframing traumatic experiences to make sense of these experiences

• Reducing anxiety, irritability, anger and frustration

When Would Be a Good Time to Seek Help in Trauma Therapy?

As previously mentioned, unresolved trauma can affect every area of your life.

If you are experiencing one or more of the following symptoms, seek help from a qualified trauma therapist:

• Emotional Flashbacks

• Disturbing Triggers
  

• Insomnia and Trouble Sleeping

Insomnia and Trouble Sleeping

• Nightmares

• Isolation and Loneliness

• Anxiety

• Other Trauma-Related Symptoms That Affect You 

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

It can be difficult to ask for help, especially when you are experiencing the symptoms of unresolved trauma.

Getting Help in Trauma Therapy

When you seek help from a trauma therapist, ask her about her training, background and skills related to trauma therapy (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

Freeing yourself from your traumatic history can help you to live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many clients to overcome unresolved trauma so they could go on to live a more fulfilling life.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

 

How Trauma Therapy Can Help You Overcome Unresolved Trauma

In a prior article, The Unconscious Mind: The Symptom Contains the Solution, I discussed how mind-body oriented therapies help to access solutions that are already in your unconscious mind.

These mind-body oriented therapies, which are also called known as Experiential Therapy, include: 

• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) 

• Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy  (AEDP)

• Somatic Experiencing

• Parts Work (Ego States Therapy and Internal Family Systems)

Trauma Therapy For Unresolved Trauma

This is because these mind-body therapies provide a window into the unconscious mind (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

Why Do Many People With Unresolved Trauma Have Problems Finding Solutions to Their Problems?

Here are some of the reasons why someone with unresolved trauma might have problems finding solutions to their problems:

• Ambivalence A person can really want to resolve their problems, but they might feel ambivalent. In other words, they have mixed feelings about it. A part of them wants to solve their problems, but another part of them might resist solutions for a variety of reasons, including fear and anxiety (see my article: Making Changes: Overcoming Ambivalence).

• Fear of the Unknown: Someone might have lived with a problem for a long time and they might be fearful what life might be like without their problem. They're accustomed to the problem and they fear the unknown (see my article: Overcoming Your Fear of Change).

• Fear of Uncertainty: Related to fear of the unknown is fear of uncertainty. This is especially true if people have experienced overwhelming uncertainty which was traumatizing in the past. For instance, if they grew up with a lot of uncertainty as children, they might be especially fearful of uncertainty as adults (see my article: Living With Uncertainty).

Unresolved Trauma and Fear of Uncertainty

• Lack of Self Confidence: When someone lacks self confidence, they might doubt their ability to come up with possible solutions to their problems (see my article: Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy).

• Shame: Many people who have unresolved trauma have a negative belief that they were to blame for their traumatic past. For instance, a person who experienced sexual abuse might have a distorted belief that they were responsible for the abuse. In many cases, their parents or other adults might have told them it was their fault. These distorted negative beliefs can create a lot of shame that has a negative impact on many areas, including problem solving. They might erroneously believe that any problem they have is their own fault, which can be emotionally paralyzing when it comes to decision making (see my article: Overcoming Shame in Therapy).

Trauma Therapy For Unresolved Trauma

• Problems With Emotional Regulation: The thought of making a change, even a change that could resolve their problems, can be anxiety provoking for someone with unresolved trauma. If someone has a problem regulating their emotions, they might have problems coping. This can make them feel stuck (see my article: Developing Skills to Manage Your Emotions).

• Lack of Trust: If someone has experienced trauma, they might not trust solutions that involve relying on other people. This is often because, in the past, they weren't able to rely on people who were supposed to be trustworthy. They might even mistrust themselves to make the right choices.

• Compensatory Aspects to the Problem: There are many examples of compensatory aspects to problems. For instance, a person might want to stop drinking because they know it's bad for their health, their partner is complaining about it, and they're also missing days from  work. But they might also like the way they feel when they drink. Drinking might give them "liquid courage" in social situations. So, on the one hand, they want to quit but, on the other hand, they want to continue to experience how they feel when they drink.

• Perfectionism: People who tend to be perfectionists often find flaws with any solution to their problems. In their effort to find a "perfect solution", no solution seems adequate, so they remain stuck in their problem (see my article: Overcoming Perfectionism).

• Fear of Making a Mistake: Even if someone isn't a perfectionist, they might feel emotionally paralyzed to risk trying a solution to their problems if they are afraid of making a mistake. This type of fear is often learned early childhood either from parents who are themselves fearful of making mistakes and who discourage their children from taking any risks (see my article: Overcoming Your Fear of Making Mistakes).

• Unresolved Trauma and a Negative Bias: People who have unresolved trauma often fear they will be traumatized again so change is hard for them. People with a negative bias anticipate everything that could go wrong with possible solutions. They anticipate the worst and they don't want to experience the overwhelming emotions they experienced when they were traumatized in the past (see my article: Reacting to the Present Based on Your Traumatic Past).

• Unresolved Trauma and the Need For Control: People who have unresolved trauma  often have a need to control outcomes in their life--even things they know they can't control. So, taking risks makes them fearful and uncomfortable (see my article: The Connection Between Unresolved Trauma and the Need For Control).

• Family or Cultural Issues: Someone might feel pressure to remain stuck in their problem because they don't want to go against family, religious or cultural traditions. For instance, if someone is in an unhappy marriage, they might remain in the marriage to appease their family, religion or cultural group.

How to Overcome Problems With Change Related to Trauma

• Practice Self Compassion: Strive to avoid self criticism and have compassion for yourself. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that change is hard, especially if you have unresolved trauma (see my article: Developing Self Compassion).

• Write in a Journal: Journaling can be a valuable tool to help you deal with your anxiety and fear.  Writing about your anxiety and fear can help you to gain insight and challenge your doubts (see my article: Journaling to Relieve Stress and Anxiety.

• Practice Meditation and Breathing Exercises: Developing a meditation practice can help you to cope with anxiety and fear. Practicing breathing exercises can also help you to calm yourself (see my articles: The Benefits of Meditation and Learning to Relax With Square Breathing).

• Identify Triggers: Being able to identify triggers can help you to temporarily avoid people, places and things that might be too stressful for you to cope with at certain times in your life. It's a temporary solution until you get help in trauma therapy because you can't avoid situations that trigger you indefinitely. But until you get help in therapy, you can give yourself a temporary break while you're under a lot of stress (see my article: Coping With Trauma-Related Triggers).

• Restructure Your Distorted Negative Thoughts: Cognitive restructuring is a useful tool, especially if you have thoughts that tend to run away with themselves. When you restructure your thoughts, you look at your thoughts objectively and challenge the ones that are unrealistic (see my article: 5 Tips For Challenging and Restructuring Distorted Negative Thoughts).

• Reframe Your Distorted Negative Perspective: Reframing your perspective is similar to restructuring your thoughts. Instead of believing the worst possible scenario, learn to look at the same problem from a different angle. You might be able to reframe problems in terms of possible positive outcomes (Developing a Different Perspective Through Reframing).

Get Help in Trauma Therapy: 

A skilled trauma therapist has advanced training in helping clients to overcome unresolved trauma.

Trauma Therapy For Unresolved Trauma

When you're considering a therapist, ask about their training, experience and background with regard to trauma.

An experienced trauma therapist can help you to overcome unresolved trauma that keeps you stuck.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who has advanced training and experience in trauma therapy so you can lead a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples. 

As a trauma therapist, I have helped many clients to overcome their trauma (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

What is Quiet Quitting in a Relationship?

Quiet quitting is a term that many people associate with work. It refers to someone who no longer puts much effort into their work but who remains on the job doing as little as possible to maintain the job until they're ready to leave (or they might stay indefinitely).

Understanding Quiet Quitting in a Relationship

Quiet quitting in a relationship is when one or both partners disengage emotionally and  psychologically without leaving.They might also disengage sexually.

Quiet Quitting in a Relationship

Quiet quitting in a relationship often involves:

• Making little or no effort in the relationship

• Withdrawing attention

• Withdrawing from emotional, psychological and sexual intimacy

• Not addressing the underlying issues involved in the couple's problems (see my article: Are You and Your Partner Avoiding Difficult Conversations?).

What are the Signs of Quiet Quitting in a Relationship?

Some of the signs of quiet quitting in a relationship include:

• A Decrease in Communication: Meaningful conversations become less frequent or nonexistent.

• Avoiding Asking or Answering Questions: One or both people show little or no interest in asking their partner questions about the partner and/or the relationship.

• Emotional Detachment: One or both partners become emotionally distant and withdrawn from each other and show little or no interest in the relationship.

Quiet Quitting in a Relationship

• Little or No Intimacy: Physical and emotional intimacy often declines or becomes nonexistent. There might also be little or no expressions of affection (see my article: Have You and Your Partner Stopped Having Sex?).

• Spending Less Time Together: One or both partners might pursue their own separate interests without their partner and without sharing those interests with the partner as a way to avoid each other and spend less time together.

• Being Mentally and Emotionally Distant When They're Together: Even when they're together one or both people might be mentally and emotionally distant and disengaged from one another. For example, they might be daydreaming, playing with their phone or doing work in order to avoid engaging with their partner.

• Loss of Shared Goals and Dreams For the Relationship: The couple might lose sight of dreams they once had together. They might also stop planning for the future (see my article: 7 Tips For Creating a Stronger Relationship With Relationship Goals).

How is Quiet Quitting in a Relationship Different From Ghosting?

Ghosting involves disappearing from a relationship altogether and the relationship ends.

When one or both people engage in quiet quitting, they're usually still physically present. If they live together, they might feel like they're just coexisting in the same place but not emotionally or physically engaging with one another.

Quiet quitting is usually a progressive disengagement that happens gradually over time. If it persists, it will erode the quality of the emotional bonds in the relationship.

Even though the couple might remain together, both people are usually dissatisfied with the relationship and the relationship might eventually end if the couple doesn't take steps to address their problems.

Why Do These Couples Stay Together?

There might be constraints that keep these couples together. For instance, there might be financial constraints that make it difficult for one or both people to leave the relationship. In many instances they can't afford to end the relationship.

There might also be cultural factors that keep a couple who are disengaged from ending the relationship altogether. For instance a couple's culture or religion might prohibit ending the relationship.

A couple who is disengaged in this way might also hesitate to end the relationship because they think they need to remain together for their younger children. 

In many cases one or both people aren't ready to leave yet, so they plan, save money and privately make arrangements for the time when they can leave. Often this is done without letting the other partner know in advance.

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette is a composite of many different cases with all identifying information removed to protect confidentiality:

Cathy and Jim

Cathy and Jim were married for 10 years when they sought help in couples therapy.

They told their couples therapist that, over the years, they had become increasingly disengaged from one another.

Both of them agreed that the emotional disengagement (also known as quiet quitting) began after they had their second child and, at the same time, Jim's father needed additional help due to his medical problems.

Quiet Quitting in a Relationship

Jim admitted that, although he loved his younger child now, originally, when Cathy said she wanted another child, he didn't really want a second child.  But he felt pressured by Cathy and went along with her wishes, which made him feel resentful towards her (see my article: How to Deal With Resentment in Your Relationship).

Cathy acknowledged she knew Jim didn't want a second child, but she had hoped that once the baby was born, Jim would change his mind. She spoke about how disappointed and hurt she was that Jim showed only minimal interest in their second child after their son was born. She also admitted she should not have pressured Jim to have another child.

She said it was only after their younger son was five or six years old that Jim showed more interest in him because he was able to do more things with their son--like teaching him baseball or how to ride a bike.

By then, she said, the damage to their relationship was done. They were respectful of one another, but Jim was sleeping in the guest room and they spent little time together alone. She had hoped things would change over time, but by the time Jim's father needed help from Jim, she and Jim had become emotionally and sexually estranged.

As they spent less time together, they became more involved in their own hobbies and interests that didn't include each other. They also stopped being affectionate with one another.

As time went on, their communication became much less frequent. Over time they were only talking about what they needed to talk about--mostly logistics or about their children or their parents. Even then, their communication was strained.

Cathy said she tried to talk to Jim about their problems because she was feeling lonely in their relationship, but he wasn't open to talking so she suggested they seek help in couples therapy.

Jim acknowledged that he wasn't open to talk to Cathy about their emotional estrangement. He agreed to couples therapy reluctantly. But once he started couples therapy, he realized he still held a lot of resentment towards her about having their second child.

Jim also realized that, when he was a child, his parents were emotionally estranged from one another so that when he and Cathy became estranged, he didn't feel as uncomfortable as Cathy did because this dynamic was familiar to him (see my article: Shame and Disengaged Families).

He expressed regret that their relationship had devolved to this point. He wanted to salvage their relationship so that it would be more emotionally and sexually fulfilling.

Since Jim and Cathy had been at this impasse for so long, they found it challenging at first to become more emotionally and sexually engaged.

Over time, their therapist, who was an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist and a sex therapist helped Jim and Cathy to stop blaming each other.

Instead of blaming one another, their therapist got them to focus on their negative cycle, so they could focus on working together to change their negative patterns (see my article: Breaking the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship With Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples).

They were also able to work through their resentments. Jim was able to let go of his resentment about having a second child. Cathy was able to let go of her resentment that, prior to couples therapy, Jim wasn't willing to talk to her about their problems.

Having a couples therapist to help facilitate their conversations helped them to reconnect again emotionally and sexually.

How to Improve Your Relationship When One or Both of You Are Disengaged?

Even though you might be dissatisfied with your relationship, you might want to try to salvage it by re-engaging with each other:

• Consider Your Expectations in the Relationship:
• Do you have realistic expectations?

• Do you expect your partner to be your "everything" instead of also getting emotional support and friendship from others?

• Is it time to reevaluate your expectations so that you're not putting too much emotional and psychological pressure on your partner?

• Speak to Your Partner About the Disengagement: Since quiet quitting is often done without the acknowledgement of either partner, speak to your partner and tell them what you're observing about the dynamic in the relationship.

• Acknowledge and Express Appreciation For Your Partner: If it's been a while since you have emotionally acknowledged your partner and expressed your appreciation, tell your partner how much you value and appreciate them (see my article: The Importance of Expressing Gratitude To Your Partner).

• Seek Help From a Couples Therapist: It can be difficult to repair things if you and your partner have been disengaged for a while. If you're unable to do this as a couple, you could benefit from seeking help from a licensed mental health professional who is a couples therapist and who can help you to either re-engage or to decide to end the relationship instead of remaining at an unsatisfying impasse.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

Quiet quitting in relationships is more common than most people think.

Whether couples want to stay together or end the relationship, they can find it challenging to overcome the stuck place they're in.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

A skilled couples therapist can help the couple to overcome their impasse so they can either work towards strengthening their relationship or ending it in as amicable a way as possible.

If you and your partner are stuck, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who is a couples therapist so you can live a more fulfilling life.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, an EFT couples therapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples (see my article: What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?).

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

Relationships: The Problem Isn't the Problem. The Real Problem is the Repeating Negative Cycle in the Relationship

What does it mean when an Emotionally Focused couples therapist says, "The problem isn't the problem. The problem is the negative cycle"? 

    See my articles: 

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy For Couples?

Identifying the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

Breaking the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

The Problem is the Negative Cycle

Most couples have disagreements from time to time, but when a couple is stuck in a repeating pattern of negative behavior, the original disagreement becomes secondary to the negative cycle.

The negative cycle, which is a repeating pattern of negative behavior, perpetuates the problem and makes it harder to resolve.

What Are the Key Aspects of the Negative Cycle?

Here are some of the key aspects of the negative cycle in a relationship:

• Repeating Patterns: A negative cycle in a relationship involves a pattern of interactions between the couple that lead to further conflict or distance in the relationship including:

• Problems with communication
• Unhealthy emotional responses
• Unhealthy behavior

• A Negative Cycle That Reinforces Itself: When a negative cycle reinforces itself, one person's behavior triggers a negative response from the other person, which causes the other partner to become more reactive. This creates a negative cycle which is difficult to break.

Breaking the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

• Looking Beyond the Surface: Although the initial issue might seem like the main problem, the real problem is the negative cycle the couple is stuck in. The negative cycle is usually the main obstacle for couples who want to overcome their problems.

How Does Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Help Couples to Overcome Their Negative Cycle?

EFT therapists work with couples to help them by: 

• Working with the couple to identify the negative cycle that is the obstacle to overcoming their problems

• Helping clients to recognize that emotions influence patterns of behavior

• Helping clients to understand how to use emotions to create the changes they want

• Helping clients to look below the surface to understand their positive needs underneath the negative cycle

• Helping clients to interrupt the negative cycle until they can learn to change the cycle

• Teaching clients how to engage in active listening so they can understand and respond empathically instead of reacting (see my article: Responding Instead of Reacting)

• Helping clients to understand their attachment wounds and vulnerabilities that are underneath the negative cycle

• Helping clients to see how they engage or disengage with each other

• Helping clients to change the negative cycle so they can develop a secure attachment in their relationship

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette is a composite of many cases (with all identifying information removed to protect confidentiality) that illustrates how EFT Couples Therapy can help a couple who are stuck in their negative cycle:

Ann and Bill

Ann and Bill sought help in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) because they were constantly arguing about household chores and they were unable to work out their differences.

Breaking the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

When the arguments initially began several years before, they would come together fairly quickly to apologize to each other, but they never worked out their differences.

Over time, resentment built up between them and it was becoming increasingly difficult to communicate after one of their arguments.

Ann felt Bill should take on more responsibilities in the household because she assumed the mental load for both of them and their teenage children. She kept track of doctors' appointments, the children's after school activities, the couple's social calendar and so on.

Ann tended to suppress her anger and resentment until she was fed up and then she would explode in anger. Bill reacted by ignoring Ann and going into his home office to calm down. But Ann interpreted Bill's behavior as stonewalling.

When Ann felt Bill withdraw by stonewalling her, she felt hurt and angry, which also made her even more adamant to make him talk to her. So, she would pursue him when he went up to his home office and demand that he talk to her.  But the more she demanded this of him, the more he shutdown emotionally, which made her even more adamant.

This was all part of their negative cycle: She would suppress her emotions. Then, she would have an angry outburst. He would feel overwhelmed by her anger and he would shut down emotionally, which served to exacerbate her anger. And the cycle went on and on until they were both emotionally exhausted.

Their EFT couples therapist helped them to identify their negative cycle and, over time, they learned how to interrupt the cycle. Gradually, over time, they learned how to break the cycle.

Once they were able to break the negative cycle, they were able to talk calmly about the original problem, household chores. 

When they didn't have to contend with their negative cycle, they found it much easier to compromise about household chores.

Conclusion

Most couples don't know about the concept of the negative cycle.  Needless to say, they also don't know about their particular cycle.

Couples can learn in EFT couples therapy to break the negative cycle.

Breaking the negative cycle allows each person in the relationship to listen and communicate more effectively. 

They can also learn how to negotiate their original problems without getting stuck in their former cycle.

Getting Help in Couples Therapy

If you and your partner are having problems you have unable to resolve on your own, you could benefit from working with an EFT couples therapist.

Breaking the Negative Cycle in Your Relationship

Learning to break the negative cycle in your relationship could be one of the best things you do to improve your relationship.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional who is an EFT couples therapist.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, EFT (for couples), AEDP, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.

I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.

How Are Therapy Cards Used For Self Reflection and Parts Work?

Therapy cards are used in psychotherapy as a tool for doing Parts Work, explore feelings, learn about yourself and process issues in therapy (see my article: How Parts Work Can Help to Empower You).

Parts Work Therapy Can Be Empowering

How Are Therapy Cards Used For Parts Work and Self Reflection

I have used Inner Active Cards, which were developed by Sharon Sargent Eckstein based on the book, Parts Work by Dr. Tom Holmes counseling psychologist, to help clients while doing Parts Work therapy.

I have found that these cards, as well as other illustrated cards, help clients to understand the various aspects of themselves (also known as parts). 

The cards can help clients with regard to:

• Self Exploration: The cards help clients to learn about their feelings, patterns, triggers and personal strengths

        See my articles: 

• Coping With Triggers

• Discovering Your Personal Strengths in Therapy

• Visual Anchors: The cards provide a visual anchor for clients to connect to the issues they want to work on so they can process these issues in therapy.

• Creative Prompts: The cards can provide a way for clients to connect with the creative aspects of themselves so they can open up to the problem solving and resilient aspects of themselves.

Parts Work Therapy Can Be Empowering

• Conversation Starters: The illustrations on the cards often help clients to connect to their inner world and begin conversations with their therapist.

• Making the Unconscious Conscious: The cards can provide a way for clients to connect with their unconscious mind in a gentle and safe way to provide them with clarity and tune into their inner wisdom (see my article: Making the Unconscious Conscious).

Clinical Vignette

The following clinical vignette is a composite of many different cases with all identifying information removed to protect client confidentiality. 

This vignette illustrates one way in which therapy cards can be helpful.

Bob

When Bob started therapy, he had difficulty accessing and expressing his emotions.

Bob sought help at the suggestion of his girlfriend, Emma. 

Bob and Emma had been together for several months and they were having communication problems. 

During their conversations, Emma realized that Bob was cut off from certain emotions so that he had difficulty expressing his feelings.

Parts Work Can Be Empowering

Bob grew up in a family where his parents didn't feel comfortable with their own emotions, especially emotions they considered "negative" like anger, sadness and shame. 

Due to his parents' discomfort with these emotions, Bob and his siblings learned to suppress their emotions so that, as adults, they were out of touch with their emotions.

After she obtained his family and relationship history, his therapist helped Bob to develop the internal resources to do therapy (see my article: Developing Internal Resources and Coping Skills).

When they both felt he was ready, his therapist helped Bob to identify feelings by identifying emotions in his body (see my article: Why Establishing Emotional Safety is so Important in Therapy).

For instance, Bob realized that when he felt constriction in his throat, he was holding back anger and when he felt a tightness in his stomach, he was feeling anxious (see my article: The Mind-Body Connection: The Body Offers a Window Into the Unconscious Mind).

His therapist explained Parts Work Therapy, also known as Ego States Therapy or IFS (Internal Family Systems), as a way to help him build self compassion, empathy, increase self awareness, reduce anxiety and become more empowered.

His therapist also introduced Bob to the Inner Active cards to facilitate the process by letting him look through the cards to see which ones resonated with him. 

Over time, Bob was able to use the cards and Parts Work to gradually and safely get to feelings that he had suppressed in the past.  This allowed Bob to begin to open up to his internal world and express his emotions more easily with his girlfriend and other people in his life.

Conclusion

Parts Work can be an empowering therapy for clients to heal.

Therapy cards are a tool some therapists use to help clients to heal emotionally.

Clients who usually have problems identifying and expressing their feelings often find the combination of the cards and Parts Work to be healing, especially for unresolved trauma (see my article: Why is Past Unresolved Trauma Affecting You Now?).

Getting Help in Therapy

If you feel stuck or you have problems you have been unable to resolve on your own, you could benefit from working with a licensed mental health professional.

Parts Work Therapy Can Be Empowering

A skilled psychotherapist can help you to overcome obstacles that are keeping you from maximizing your potential.

Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from a licensed mental health professional.

About Me

I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist (see my article: The Therapeutic Benefits of Integrative Therapy).

I work with individual adults and couples.

Trauma therapy is one of my specialties (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).

I help clients by providing them with a safe therapeutic environment to explore their feelings so they can heal.

To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.

To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.