What is Self Esteem?
Before we discuss how to build your self esteem, let's start by defining self esteem.
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| Building Your Self Esteem |
Self esteem includes
- A sense of self worth and value
- Self respect
- An overall sense of yourself
What Affects Your Self Esteem?
Your self esteem is shaped by many aspects including
- Early childhood experiences
- Personal relationships and prior experiences
- Thoughts
- Relationships
- Motivation
- Acceptance of imperfections, mistakes and challenges
What Are the Key Aspects of Self Esteem?
- Self evaluation including your subjective thoughts and beliefs ("I am lovable" or "I am capable") and other feelings about yourself
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| Building Self Esteem |
- A foundation of well-being that supports your mental health and relationships
What is the Difference Between Healthy Self Esteem vs Low Self Esteem?
Healthy Self Esteem:
- You accept your strengths.
- You recognize areas where you need to improve and accept this with self compassion and without judgment.
- You are resilient to constructive criticism.
Low Self Esteem:
- You experience self doubt.
- You might have a fear of failure.
- You might engage in people-pleasing.
- You might engage in negative self talk.
- Other possible behavioral dynamics
How is Self Esteem Different From Self Confidence?
Self esteem and confidence are related; however, self esteem is your general sense of self worth and self confidence is usually related to certain skills.
For instance, your overall self esteem might be good, but you might feel less confident in your public speaking ability and more confident in your ability to solve problems.
How to Build Your Self Esteem
Building your self esteem includes:
A Healthy Mindset
- Practicing Self Compassion: Treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness you would treat a loved one.
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| Building Self Esteem |
- Challenge Negative Self Talk: Become aware of your inner critic and reframe negative thoughts into more realistic positive thoughts.
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Focus on your own journey and progress instead of comparing yourself (see my article: How to Stop Comparing Yourself Unfavorably to Others).
- Identify Your Strengths: Write down your strengths and focus on them.
Actions and Habits
- Set Achievable Goals: Start small and celebrate your victories as you build momentum to bigger goals (see my article: Celebrate Your Success).
- Engage in Enjoyable Activities: Engage in hobbies and activities you enjoy and you're good at.
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| Building Self Esteem |
- Prioritize Self Care: Get enough sleep, eat nutritious meals, exercise at a pace that's right for you (see my article: Taking Time For Self Care).
- Be Assertive: Recognize the difference between healthy assertiveness and aggression (see my article: What is the Difference Between Assertive and Aggressive Behavior?).
- Learn to set healthy boundaries and ask for what you need without guilt.
- Help Others: Volunteering and engaging in acts of kindness can give you a sense of purpose and meaning.
Relationships
- Choose Supportive People: Choose people who value you and treat you well.
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| Building Self Esteem |
- Limit Negativity: Reduce your exposure to negative influences, including social media.
- Communicate With Trusted Loved Ones: Share your struggles with trusted loved ones to build connection and realize that others often struggle with the same problems.
Deeper Self Esteem
- Clarify Your Values: Understand what values matter to you (e.g., kindness, learning, connection and belonging).
- Take Action: Take steps to build your self esteem rather than waiting for it to happen.
Get Help in Therapy
If you have tried to build your self esteem and you feel stuck, rather than struggling alone, consider working with a licensed mental health professional who has an expertise in helping clients to overcome obstacles that are getting in your way.
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| Get Help in Therapy |
Building your self esteem can help you to live a more fulfilling life.
About Me
I am a licensed New York psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT (for couples), Parts Work (IFS and Ego States Therapy), Somatic Experiencing and Certified Sex Therapist.
With over 25 years of experience, I have helped many individual adults and couples.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.