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| Keeping an Erotic Journal For Sexual Self Discovery |
In this article I'm focusing specifically on the benefits of keeping an erotic journal as part of your erotic self discovery as discussed by Dr. Jack Morin in his book, The Erotic Mind - Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment (see my article: What is Eroticism?).
How to Start an Erotic Journal
You can start an erotic journal by keeping a notebook and creating sections for the following experiences:
- Memories of Peak Erotic Experiences including the hottest erotic memories from any time in your life (see my article: Discovering Your Peak Erotic Experiences)
- Non-Sexual Erotic Memories including any type of eroticism, which isn't necessarily sexual. According to sex therapist, Dr. Esther Perel, eroticism blooms from the tension between excitation and inhibition in terms of the way you think, feel, act and what you do.
- Sexual Fantasies including fantasies you'd like to try in real life as well as fantasies that get you turned on but you want to remain as fantasies without enacting them (see my article: Discovering the Unconscious Meaning of Your Sexual Fantasies).
- Erotic Dreams including dreams where you felt erotically energized either by yourself or with a partner or partners
- Other Erotic Thoughts and Feelings including eroticism you're curious about or any other erotic thoughts and feelings that come to mind
Why Keep an Erotic Journal
The great thing about keeping this kind of journal is that it helps you to remember the erotic experiences you've had in the past and experiences you want to have now or in the future.
Keeping an erotic journal often creates an opportunity
- To create greater self awareness of your erotic self
- To feel alive and erotically embodied
- To improve your self care by helping you to get in touch with sensuous experiences you enjoy, a relaxing bubble bath, scented candles, incense, smoothing on your favorite body lotion and whatever else engages your five senses (sight, sound, smell, touch and taste)
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| Self Care and Your Erotic Self |
- To learn about your erotic blueprint (see my articles: What is Your Erotic Blueprint - Part 1 and Part 2)
- To create a new sexual awakening for yourself, especially if you have gotten into a rut with solo or partnered sex and need to feel sexually alive again
- To increase your sexual self esteem (see my article: What is Sexual Self Esteem?)
- To improve your sex script in either solo sex or partnered sex (see my article: Understanding Your Sex Script)
- To discover the possibility of a kinky side in your personality (see my articles: What is Kinky Sex? and What's the Difference Between a Kink and a Fetish?)
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| Do You Have a Undiscovered Kinky Side? |
- To share ideas with a partner or partners about what you would like to experience sexually together or alone, if you wish. Keeping it private, at least at first, is a way to prevent you from feeling inhibited about what you write so you don't self censor before you have a chance to capture your erotic thoughts and feelings in writing. A compromise to sharing or not sharing might be sharing selectively what you want your partner(s) to know about you and what you like (see my articles: How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex - Part 1 and Part 2).
Also see my article: Women's Sexuality: Tips For Sexual Self Discovery.
Getting Help in Sex Therapy
If you're feeling stuck in terms of your erotic self, you could benefit from seeking help in sex therapy.
There can be many reasons why you feel stuck, including sexual anxiety, depression, a negative body image, a history of sexual abuse and other related problems.
Sex therapy is talk therapy that focuses on sex. There is no physical exam, nudity or sexual activity (see my article: What is Sex Therapy? and Common Misconceptions About Sex Therapy).
A sex therapist can help you to overcome the obstacles that are preventing you from having passionate and fulfilling erotic and sexual experiences.
About Me
I am a licensed New York City psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR, AEDP, EFT, Somatic Experiencing and Sex Therapist.
I am a sex positive therapist who works with individual adults and couples.
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 during business hours or email me.