In my prior article, How to Stop Rushing Into a Relationship Too Quickly, I began a discussion about the pitfalls of getting involved with someone before you really know them. This article gives you tips on how you can avoid these pitfalls.
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| How to Stop Rushing Into a Relationship |
7 Tips To Avoid Getting Into a Relationship Too Quickly
- Know What You Want: If you're clear on what you want, you'll be able to articulate your wants and needs to anyone you date early on so you can determine if you're both on the same page. You're also more likely to avoid getting hurt by having unrealistic expectations and finding out that the person you're seeing had a different understanding (see my article: Dating vs Being in a Relationship).
- Know Your Own Self Worth: If you have a low sense of self worth, you're more likely to get involved too quickly and tolerate bad behavior. So, learn to develop a healthy sense of self (see my article: Taking Steps to Increase Your Self Esteem).
- Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company: If you're uncomfortable being alone, you're more likely to get involved too quickly with someone you're not compatible with (see my article: Solitude vs Feeling Lonely).
- Avoid Having Sex Too Soon: Sex tends to speed up intimacy for many people before they really know each other. If there's a potential for things to develop into a relationship, you could rush things if you get sexual too soon. After you've been sexually intimate early on while dating, you might feel like you know the other person, but you really don't.
- Limit Your Contact: If you're trying to take things slowly so you can get to know each other, limit your contact with the person you're seeing. Texting and calling everyday speeds things up so that you end up getting emotionally attached before you really get to know them.
- Focus on the Here and Now: Rather than projecting into the future and imagining what it might be like to be married or living together, stay focused on the present. Focusing on the here and now keeps you in the present moment rather than getting too attached to your fantasy of how things could be. Getting caught up on fantasies can lead to potential disappointments (see my article: Relationships: The Ideal vs the Real).
- Stay Connected With Friends and Loved Ones: People who tend to get involved too quickly often neglect their family and friends because they're too wrapped up with the person they're seeing. If you tend to do this, once again, be aware that you're more likely to rush into a relationship prematurely.
Get Help in Therapy
There can be many reasons why you might have a tendency to rush into relationships, including unresolved emotional trauma.
A skilled psychotherapist can help you to overcome a history of unresolved trauma that might be affecting you in the present (see my article: Reacting to the Present Based on Your Traumatic Past).
Rather than struggling on your own, seek help from an experienced mental health professional (see my article: What is a Trauma Therapist?).
To set up a consultation, call me at (917) 742-2624 or email me.