Lacking Determination and Perseverance
There are many reasons why people lack determination and perseverance to see their goals to completion. Sometimes, people allow self doubt to get in the way and they have a hard time seeing themselves as a success.
|A Lot of People Have Problems Sticking to Their Goals to Completion|
Anxiety and depression can also get in the way of people completing their goals. If you're feeling anxious and depressed, it might be all that you can do to just get through the day--let alone have long term goals.
Difficulty Sacrificing Short Term Pleasure For Long Term Goals
For many people, what gets in the way of completing their goals and achieving success is an inability to stay focused on the benefits they will derive if they persevere. They get bored and allow their boredom to distract them. They also have difficulty sacrificing short term pleasure for long term goals.
The following vignette, which is a composite of many different cases, so that no identifying information compromises confidentiality, illustrates this problem:
John, who returned to college when he was in his late 20s, was at the end of his junior year of college. Originally, he left college when he was 19 because he wanted to earn money. But after a while, he realized that his lack of a college degree was holding him back. He had reached a plateau at work. Senior positions required a college degree, so he returned to college at night.
Working full time and going to college at night was a challenge. But what John found even more challenging was that he felt like he was "missing out" on socializing with his friends during the week. They had all graduated college a few years before, and so they were free to go out to social clubs and parties while John was in night school.
This made John feel miserable and stuck with a dilemma. On the one hand, he knew that he made a mistake in leaving college the first time, so he didn't want to quit again. But, on the other hand, he also wanted to be able to go out more often with his friends, and he was too bogged down with his studies to do this. Since he was not sure what to do, John decided to go to therapy to try to understand why he felt so ambivalent.
John discovered in therapy that he lacked the ability to stay focused on his long term goals. He also realized that, when he was growing up, his parents, who struggled just to get by from day to day, also didn't have the ability to focus on long term goals. So, he didn't grow up in an environment where these skills were modeled for him.
Part of the problem was that his long term goals were undefined. So, John's therapist helped him to define his goals more clearly. John also learned tools to stay motivated and focused. Getting organized, having clearly defined goals and a sense of purpose helped John to stay focused on his long term goals. At times, he still wished he could go out more with his friends, but he held onto what he wanted to accomplish, and after he graduated college, he felt a real sense of accomplishment.
If you find that you tend to get discouraged and abandon your goals because you're lacking determination or a sense of purpose, you could benefit from getting help from a licensed mental health professional who can help you to develop the skills you need to succeed.
|Therapy Can Help You to Develop the Skills You Need to Be Successful|
To find out more about me, visit my website: Josephine Ferraro, LCSW - NYC Psychotherapist.
To set up a consultation, call me at (212) 726-1006.
photo credit: Brandon Christopher Warren via photopin cc
photo credit: thetaxhaven via photopin cc