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Friday, November 30, 2012

Are You Ready to Start a New Relationship?

Over the years, I've seen many psychotherapy clients who come to therapy because they've been disappointed in their romantic relationships and they wonder if they're ready to start a new relationship.

Are You Ready to Start a New Relationship?
After Getting Hurt, You Might Be Leery About Starting a New Relationship
Getting hurt in a prior relationship can leave you feeling leery about getting involved in a new romantic relationship or from even wanting to meet someone new.  It takes time to heal from a heart break and to learn what you might want in your next relationship--if you even feel like you want to be in a new relationship.

We All Heal in Different Ways and Different Times
Everyone is different, and we all heal at our own pace.  Friends and family might be urging you to "get back out there" and meet someone new, but you might not be ready yet.  If you get involved too soon, you risk bringing the "old baggage" from your experience in your prior relationship into a new relationship.  

On the other hand, if you want a new relationship, but you wait a long time because you're  too afraid to get involved again, you might allow your fears to get in the way of your potential happiness with someone new.  Fear of getting involved again can solidify into emotional numbness where everything feels flat and unappealing.  As time goes by, it gets harder and harder to overcome your fear.

There Might Be Underlying Issues 
There can also be so many underlying issues that intensify your fear of getting involved in a new relationship or even just dating.  If you've had a pattern of hurtful relationships, you might not trust  yourself to get involved again.  There might be some truth to your fears if you continue choosing people who hurt you.  But if you allow those fears to overtake you, you might remain stuck indefinitely.

Are You Less Resilient That You Used to Be?
You might find that, after several experiences with heart break, you're not as resilient as you were.  You might not bounce back as quickly as you used to before.  This alone can be a disconcerting experience, as you wonder what's happening to you.

Not Everyone Want to Be in a Relationship
There are some people who are genuinely happy in their lives without being in a relationship.  They're quite fulfilled by famly, friends, their work and other interests they might have.  So, I don't mean to imply that you must be in a relationship to be happy.  But most people that I've met want to share their lives with a significant other.  

Free Yourself from Your Doubts and Fears
If you'd like to be in a relationship, but you find yourself stuck and questioning whether you're ready, you could benefit from seeing a licensed mental health professional to explore this aspect of your life so  you can free yourself from your doubts and fears and live a more fulfillng life.

I am a licensed NYC psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapist.  I work with individual adults and couples.

To find out more about me, visit my website:

To set up a consultation, call me at (212) 726-1006.

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